On my 33rd birthday I tell myself this:
You’ve been though a lot, you’ve felt pain that was so unbearable your body broke down. You laughed so hard and so loud you almost peed your pants. You loved so deeply it made you cry with joy. You experienced losses so hard it broke you into pieces. You’ve went through so many changes (a lot of which you didn’t even want to go through) but sill you did and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve been lost from yourself but you’ve also known what it feels like to be so connected to YOU. You’ve been pulled down by the weight of your thoughts, and you’ve experienced freedom of being.
You’ve had moments of doubts and moments of unshaken faith. You’ve known Moments of wisdom and moments where no words can even be found to speak, and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve overcome a lot of fears and lost battles for a lot of them too. You’ve felt lonely and felt the blessings of closeness at the same time. You’ve shed layer after layer of who you thought you were with no clear idea on who or what you will find beneath all of it and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve been hurt and you’ve been loved. You’ve hurt and you’ve loved. You’ve made mistakes and you’ve learned from them. You’ve failed and you’ve also succeeded.
You’ve changed and changed and changed in these 33 years that I look back and see so many version of you I can’t even count, and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve never given up and you’ve always been there to hold yourself back up and to allow yourself to be held. You’ve asked for help when you needed it and you’ve shut people out completely. You’ve held back and made yourself smaller, and you’ve broken through that and now take up so much space, and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve always had a smile on your face even when your heart was bleeding. You’ve always believed in the good in life and in people and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve changed your mind over and over again and you’ve let go of so much that you thought was you. You’ve said yes when you didn’t meant it and you’ve learned the power of a genuine HELL NO, and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve been YOU through all of it, even when you was so lost to be found you were still there, always trying to find you way back home to yourself and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve followed your dreams and still do even when it’s so scary you just want to run… you still followed through, and for that I am proud of you.
You’ve learned what it’s like to be human, to be spirit, to be perfect, and to be imperfect. That you can be all of it and not just one or the other, and that growth is a never ending journey and we are all students learning and learning.
You’ve learned that it’s okay to not be okay, to be all of you and to allow yourself to just Be. You’ve learned that vulnerability is not weakness and that it’s more than okay to FEEL wholly and deeply.
You’ve learned that your happiness is right here and right now (not in any goal, or person, or place, or promotion, or bank account, or achievement) but right here in your own HEART. You’ve learned that “thank you” is your favorite prayer and that the ESSENCE of your life is in your awareness of each present moment you are living.
You’ve learned that no matter who you are or where you are today, you always have the power to create and re-create yourself and your life the way you CHOOSE to.
We deserve to acknowledge ourselves, to look back at our journeys and to be proud of all that we have done and learned and went through.
So on your next birthday, send a love letter to yourself and let yourself know that you are proud of her! She deserves it…
Peace & Love,