10 Lessons I learned From Loss & Grief

Written by Noor Jundi

I’m a human being, Lawyer by profession and Coffeeholic…

Enthusiastic about fitness and leading a healthy lifestyle

“Always trying to be a better Me”

So I looked up the definition of loss and randomly these first two definitions came up:

The first one was: “the fact or process of losing something or someone.”.
And the second was: “the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value”

Both of these definitions are somewhat true! Loss once it happens and you lose, perhaps someone dear, becomes a fact that you cannot change and a fact that is associated, of course, with grief!

I personally faced loss few years back and it hit me unexpectedly and just when I thought I had it all, I lost a dear person to me…my Husband. Unfortunately, Life sometimes throws at you an unpleasant event and there you are unprepared, feeling scared, and vulnerable thinking that your life has just ended.

Well, maybe it did… temporarily! Life in this moment has changed and this is not the life that you planned but here you are!

Actually, it took me years to overcome my loss, working hard and with lots of ups of down. I pushed myself to go back to work again as a lawyer and changed jobs seeking for better opportunities. I did well in my job but at the same time I lost part of myself. I totally neglected my health physically and mentally although from the outside I looked completely fine.

Until that moment whenI made a choice to start a new journey of self-discovery starting by changing my mindset, to living a healthy lifestyle.

Right there I discovered my passion for health and fitness which brought joy to my life.

Gradually, I came to peace with my loss, I am now able to talk about it and adjusted to it. It honestly does take effort, faith and determination to get there.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler

Yes, you will never be the same, you will be an updated version of yourself, a stronger

human being with endless opportunities. It is not okay to surrender to those feelings or

not to try at least to come back to yourself.

I would like to share with you the 10 lessons I learned from my personal experience with loss, I hope that it might help someone reading this:

It is hard but it will pass, it might take time, days, months or years but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Never attach yourself or your happiness to people or things. Create your own happiness.
People might not understand your pain or what you are going through so build your own spiritual connection with God or the divine power that you believe in. This will help you a lot. Also make sure that you are surround by the right support system your family or your friends.
It is you and only you who can help you. You need to help yourself get out of it and of course you can always ask for help if you feel you need to.
It’s okay to be selfish and to take care of yourself, pamper yourself and do things that you really love.
If you don’t work find a job or anything you like doing that can keep you busy and productive.
Embrace your life as it is and always be grateful for what you have. This can come at a later stage of grief.
Always be aware of your feelings and emotions and work on trying to improve your mental health which is essential.
Life is not over as long as you are living you still have second chances and new opportunities.
Believe in yourself and your journey but never give up.

Remember it is your loss, your grief, your journey and your life.

It is okay if you feel sad, tired, on the edge or helpless because at the end of the day you are a human being full of emotions so don’t be hard on yourself.

Last thing I would leave you with this note:

“Never give up, it’s like breathing—once you quit, your flame dies letting total darkness extinguish every last gasp of hope. You can’t do that. You must continue taking in even the shallowest of breaths, continue putting forth even the smallest of efforts to sustain your dreams. Don’t ever, ever, ever give up.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

Sending you all, love and peace xx

Noor